Eyes flit open

Mind alert

“Hey Google, what time is it?”

An automated voice replies, “It’s 2:49 am.”

Good grief

Not again.

Middle of the night

and

I

Am

Wide

Awake

Get out of bed

Make a cup of tea

Eat a banana

Crawl under the covers

Read

Until I crash

I wake up

Prior to my alarm

I really hope

Tonight

I sleep through the night.

The world is still

Refrigerator hums

I’m wide awake, clear headed

It’s 4 am

Cat draped on chest

Scratch his head

Paw pats face

Jelly bean toes knead away

Pokety poke – a few claws need trimming

It’s 4 am

Hum of cars on road

Wheels woosh by

Punctuated by moments of stillness

Brain whirs

It’s 4 am

Much too early to wake up

Eyes itchy

Throat feels raw

Darkness envelopes room

With the exception of

Haze of street lights

Just outside window

It’s 4 am

The world is still

With the exception

Of my brain

Stomach gurgles

What to do?

I write

Share a slice of insomnia

It’s 4 am

Much too early to wake up

and be alert

Unit above me – toilet flushes

I am not alone

With thoughts flitting through brain

Cat purrs

Content with my companionship

It’s 4 am

Any vestiges of sleep swept away

Time to start my day.

I thought I was going to attend a musical comedy, not an angst ridden production.

It received rave reviews! Really?

Sold out? How come?

Sitting in the darkened theatre, mind wandering, ruminating this was supposed to be a self-care Sunday afternoon – a Broadway musical matinée enjoyed with a friend.

My thoughts continued to ramble . . . lunch was amazing – I’m really glad we found that café, I wonder what’s going to happen next in the book I just started reading this morning . . . next thing I know I start to nod off.

The musical fades into white noise until a particularly vibrant duet shakes my stupor. Unfortunately the duet was the only highlight of the first act.

At intermission my friend asks what I think of the production. I say the duet was the highlight for me but the rest of it rest was merely meh. She concurs and admits she had a hard time remaining awake. I perk up and admit, Me too!

She asks if I’d like to leave. With profound relief I answer, yes.

While leaving the theatre I muse, this is self-care.

Age. We all age. That is a given. But do we have to get older? A recent Twitter thread has had me contemplating the passage of time.

Compared to my youth I now enjoy a quiet evening in than a busy night out. I have switched from a doer to being. Being enough. Being satisfied. Being grateful for what I have in my life. Being worried and scared for friends that have health issues. Being concerned that the time I have on this planet with them is finite.

Here I am world, midlife. What does the next chapter of my life portend?

Blossoms, berries, birds

a botanical haven

tranquil oasis

Only two more days of #SOL19!

At the start of the month, I asked myself “Will this be too much?”

This is something I want to do . . .

But will it be tedious? tiresome? terrific?

Be tenacious! My inner dialogue touted.

I tapped tapped tapped and typed typed typed.

Now near the terminus

I want to toot-toot-toot:

I TRIUMPHED

That wasn’t too terrible . . .

Ambitious

Brave

Creative

Determined

Excellent baker

Friendly

Gardener

Helper

Inquisitive

Joy in little things appreciates

Kind

Learner

Nature lover

Overachiever

Particularly clumsy

Quirky

Reader

Snorts when laughing intensely

Tall

Understanding

Vancouverite

World traveller

Yogi

Zzzs important for me

Many thanks to Jess for inspiring me. Yesterday she wrote her own A to Z this is ME slice.

Plum

Cherry

Magnolia

Itchy eyes

Scratchy throat

Dripping nose

ACHOO

There once was a lady who was hungry

And it was making her very angry

So she grabbed her friend’s hand

And into a restaurant they did land

for food that could be served in a hurry.

Teeth repairer

Probing roots around my gums

Scraping, drilling

Adhering porcelain enamel to

a trio of roots

When will the numbing wear off?